bad ass BOOBIES in South Beach, MIami

I begin this post paying homage to the amazing tits on the manikin that we found calling attention to an extra big bathing suit at a South Beach curios shop. Those have to be 38XXX, right?

When I first re-organized my direct flight plan to Las Vegas, to include a quick zip over to visit Sage in Miami, I was excited but I really didn't know what to expect.  Who would these wayward grown up hippies be?  Waiting for me at the Miami airport was the only other girl, besides Sage, that I knew would be at this party her name is Andrea Nickel, she is funny and a great friend that I get to see only every once in a while.  I, of course, greeted her with the ever welcoming "oh, my god I am so happy that you are almost as fat as I am" you know just to kind of cheer her up:)  

Our crazy cab ride to Key Biscayne was definitely the cab dudes first time, we had to stroke his fragile cab driving ego with encouraging quips and light laughter as he pulled into myriad of dead end streets.  This poor newly imported Haitian guy might still be pondering, like Confucius, which way to go in some god forsaken Dade county round- about. He just didn't quite get the 'go around, and then stay straight' concept.

We arrived to a lovely group of boys and girls dancing around on a patio, Sage ushered me to the far end of this massive house to 'the master' bedroom.  Picture Tommy Bahama meeting some really sophisticated European rock groupie and they design the best house ever invented for hanging out.  

Yes, that right, this is where I stayed for 5 days with 17 amazing new friends.

There were cute babies, with beautiful mom's and amazing daddy's. + Other like minded entreprenuerial coherts from San Fran; a lawyer, a rock promoter, internet t.v. producers, a real estate agent extrordinaire, and everybody was so nice, BONUS!  

To celebrate the pending big 40, Sage had picked out the latest in hip, stylish Cuban restaurant called 'sra. Martinez'. We dined on a lovely prefix menu of small chef selection tapas (http://www.sramartinez.com/menus/dinner-2/) and imbibed to our hearts content on a bunch of really complicated cocktails. (hence the need for me to sleep on the really clean and stylish bathroom floor).  My favorite for the night was called 'el matador' although the barkeep flat out refused to make it with any less simple sugar, so of course, it turned out too sweet.  Here is my version:

EL MATADOR

muddle together, which of course can be done, in a time of need with the bottom of a heavy wooden spoon handle!

1oz. fresh lime juice

4 fresh basil leaves

1 ripe organic strawberry

add: 2 oz. kettle one vodka

1/2 oz. jalapeno simple syrup

add rocks (ice) & shake vigorously, pour through strainer into chilled martini glass.

or coffee mug, or you can put the whole mix in a thermos and set it between your legs for a long commute.

JALAPENO SIMPLE SUGAR

• steep 1 jalapeno in 3 cups of boiling water (remove jalapeno and stir in 3 cups of super fine white sugar)

As my endless fun in Miami blog post continues to grow, I feel that as I draw the memories of a perfect vacation to a close, I MUST finish by describing.......the toilet in the master, where I had the pleasure to lay my head on Friday night and plant my bottom for the next few days that followed.  Just to clarify, I did not actually use the bidet function, in fact it didn't even occur to me, I was too busy being impressed by the fact that the lid lifted as I walked into the WC, a fan turned on as I sat down, and when I rose... of course the little bugger flushed itself.  Believe me you also should covet this new and latest show stopper. #FYI- apparently this is one of only two types of toilets used in Japan, they have the old squatter version, which is a wooden frame attached to the floor, or now bringing things up to speed, in the more modern Japanese household is the heated seated bidet!  I guess they skipped the whole water basin with a swirling flush thing, that us archived Americans still seem to be holding on to?

This bidet costs $1600. on sale, it is called the TOTO400

Off to Las Vegas I go!

PHO

Phở ([fɤ˧˩˧] ( listen)) is a Vietnamese noodle soup, usually served with beef (phở bò) or chicken (phở gà).^[1] The soup includes noodles made fromrice and is often served with Asian basil, mint leaves, lime, and bean sprouts that are added to the soup by the person who is dining. The dish is associated with the city of Hanoi, where the first pho restaurant opened in the 1920s.

My desire to seek out, all food Asian, has hit a high point here in Vegas.  The actual issue is; in the city that never sleeps I can get it at all hours of the day and night.  Choosing to take the path more frequently traveled I can wait until 11:00am and pick something up at the 'Noodle Bar' right here at the Bellagio, or I can travel by a quick $10. cab ride, at ANY time during the night to the back side of the strip and get some real shit, like authentic Korean food.  At Korean food restaurants you get lots of really cool fermented condiments.

If you happen to be a fermented cabbage lover, like me (I seriously used to bring a can of sauerkraut and a can opener to lunch during my high school years), I am going to give a quick brief,  on how to make some satisfying kim chi.


a white lady's version of KIMCHI:
take a head of napa cabbage, remove the base so the leaves are seperated
soak, totally covered in salted water (this means about 1/8 cup salt to 1 gallon of water)
these need to soak for about 4 hours, move them around when ever you think of it
rinse the leaves well
rub with this chile mix:
place 1/4 dried shrimp (available at Mexican or Asian Markets)
1 head of garlic with most of the husks removed
1 Tbls. chopped ginger
2 Tbls. chile powder
1 Tbls. cayenne chile powder
1 cup cold water
then you get to......'rub' down each leaf
add some inch long pieces of sliced green onion, and sliced or cubed radish
the best results will be had if you....
leave in a glass jar, outside of the fridge for 36 hours
then put in the fridge, chill and then add to any Asian inspired meal as a lovely side dish!


I am getting this post up so I can work on another one, (since I left Vegas, 6 days ago)!